![]() Thank you from the bottom of my heart, dearest Jeanne. In the session I was once at the beach, then by a fire, in the desert, and also in the middle of the incredibly blue sea, very deep in the water, diving, floating. How I would have liked to sit down with her! Later my aunt sat in the room with her dogs and smoked and drank schnapps. They have never appeared to me in this composition! My grandma, my grandpa and my father show up very very rarely, actually never! My mother, my father, my grandpa and my grandma. Next, I was very amazed and touched to have my deceased relatives around me. At the same time, it was such an incredible parallel! I felt how much our breathing is related to birth, life and death, it IS. I cried because it affected me so much and made me sad. Then my breathing suddenly reminded me of my dying mother who spent whole nights breathing so heavily, struggling to get over it! There was no particular reason, crying just felt good. My Japanese Shiats teacher always said that yawning and tears are like purification. It was incredibly strong.Īt first I yawned a lot and my jaw relaxed, then tears came, but more physically, not from sadness. I would wish anyone to leave the retreat with similar take-aways, to be able to dive to the very depths of the mind where the answers are. I feel so proud of myself and looking back at my journey, I am now convinced that I had to go through hell and limbo to get these amazing, divine messages that I’ll forever keep with myself. The fourth ceremony gave me so many answers, undoubtedly the most precious teaching I’ve ever received. I had issue with self-esteem, self-love and to feel connected to myself. It’s like the plant waited for me to feel the most weak and scared I’ve ever been to give me the keys to get my mental barriers down. I was on the verge of leaving many times, everything was so hard for me: the ayahuasca ceremonies, the plant that I dieted (chiric), the food restrictions, the insomnia ….ĭuring your retreat, try to keep in mind that it’s normal to feel very weak and to consider running away, but I would advise to say to yourself “ok just one more day, I can do this”, because it is so worth it and you may not realize it until the end of the retreat.įor me, everything made sense on the last ceremony (the fourth one). "I cannot stress how challenging this retreat was for me. I will forever be grateful for her guiding me." I can best describe it with the words above, describing my state of being today. For me it is hard to put in words what exactly she does in her work where she combines all her knowledge and wisdom. Thank you!Ĭony works on a lot of different levels, she has a deep knowledge about human psychology, yoga and several different healing techniques. Bringing me home to myself.Īlways here to support and guide me. Going with me through the deepest transformation of my life so far. Thank you Cony for walking with me this path to where I am today. This feeling of loving and being loved is new to me. This feeling of being part of a community is new to me. And then I know there will be moments where I will be scared, scared of all this new, even tho it is amazing. Feeling absolutely free and safe in being free. Today in this moment I can say I feel safe in the not knowing. I had to learn and will always learn how to let go. Well I never did know, but I had this belief in my head that if I plan everything I am safe. "For the first time in my life I do not have a plan. I would have appreciated compassion from him instead. As a result of his comment, I felt uncomfortable with my choice though I knew it was best for me. ![]() He commented that weathermen always get it wrong. I made plans to leave on Saturday and told a roshi. I learned that it was going to snow on the last night and that would impact road conditions driving home on Sunday. He was wonderful!ĭespite my ups and downs I had less fatigue and aches than years past. I had some health reactions during the sesshin and appreciated the care and compassion of the shuso. I would have appreciated respect around that. I am in my seventies and safety is a concern for me so I craved lighting. Most of the others in attendance were younger and I guess wanted to save energy. I would turn on a lamp in the common area and someone else would turn it off. The lighting in the dorm area was dark even in the evenings. I recognize that change is continual and the staff was almost completely new to me (my last stay was I noticed the meals were less appetizing than ever before. I noticed some distinct quality changes from years past, however. "It was by far my best sesshin experience ever. ![]()
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